Keeps going..and going...and going...

As I sit in my corner cubical enjoying my pirogies I feverishly microwaved for lunch, I've come to realize that TIME IS NOT SLOWING DOWN. Why is it that humans have to abide by the concept of time? That we are sent to "time managment" classes where they teach you how to put your compulsiveness down on paper. As if I didn't have enough lists and personal notes..now I have lists and notes to remind me to look at the latter lists and notes. Me writing all of these appointments down in my planner certainly does HELP y time managment crisis.. but what if you are a child of ADD and you simply can't STOP moving, thinking and trying to be productive. Organizing my tasks takes me just as much time as actually completing them...In fact, I am so "task driven" that I forget to do simple things.. like EAT and SLEEP. Hell, I figure when I am dead I will have plenty of time to rest.

My biggest challenge in life has always been stopping to smell the roses. After the past year of changes I have done nothing BUT smell the flowers. Getting back to the grind has been both exciting and exhausting..but oh how good it smells. My summer has been filled with adventure, love and experience. I have established a new sense of self & realized that easy really does not enter into adulthood. I can say that this has been the best summer to date. Maybe it's because I am madly in love with a real MAN. (The definition of MAN according to dictionary.com is in fact a long one. 26 definitions is what I got when I searched. The best? 9. a male having qualities considered typical of men or appropriately masculine: Be a man. The army will make a man of you. and yet an even better definition:21.to furnish with men, as for service or defense.) The term MAN has been loosely used and forgotten over the years. I remember when a Man was a father who took care of his children, a husband who loved and cherished his wife, a son who helps his father up the stairs, a SOLDIER willing to die for selfless reasons and just willing to server for the greater good. Now-a-days a man is considered a male over the age of 18. THIS makes me laugh..for I have known many a man referred to as a MAN and have yet to prove such a definition to be true. My man on the other hand does just as my definitions explain. He is a man of honor, of truth and strength. I completely adore him in every way and gladly consider (notice I say consider because I am as stubborn as a mule) his guidance daily. I don't idolize him as often as I should, I only hope he believes how truly irreplaceable he is.

The definition of a woman has also been abused over the years. A larger part of my childhood goes out to my grandparents. My grandmother (Mimi) is from the south and raised me to treat a man with respect. The ladies of my generation do not know or even comprehend the term RESPECT...it too has been lost over time. I on the other hand know what it means to be a woman. Don't get me wrong, I am still a little girl when you pull on my heart strings..but I do know what is requested of me and I do know how to treat a man. Mimi and I used to sit up and wait for my grandfather (Papa) to come home. He would come home late at night having to drive home from Tiffin all the time. We would eat our dinner at the usual time but stay awake until he came through that door and then sit at the table while he ate. Why? That is what the real Women of time did. Dinner on the table, house clean, laundry done. We would entertain Papa as he ate (although I'm sure he would have enjoyed his food in peace even more) and then all head off to bed together or...give our goodnight kisses and be on our way. I owe a large part of who I am to my grandparents, especially my Mimi.

I stand behind my man because I know my role. The same reason I would NOT vote for a female president is the same reason I have no hesitations walking next to or standing behind my other. How can a female say she wouldn't vote for another female as president? Because I'm not effing stupid! I know what PMS and hormonal imbalances do to our fragile female minds. I know the crazy thought processes we go through on a daily basis and I honestly do not feel SAFE taking a womans guidance over a mans (When it comes to leading the country of course). I am a subspecies of man and have every right to my opinion. God made the MAN head of the household for a reason. Now...I don't want to sound like a she-man woman hater so... I admire women because of their strength, compassion and ability to hold families together. If it were not for the beautiful ladies in the world.. it would be an even dirtier, crueler place. This does not include you tramps sleeping with every bar rat you can find and popping out children before you know how to spell MATURITY. Time to grow up ladies. We have enough stupid people in the world...so if you are not stable and can't turn on the over to cook a fully nutritional meal do us all a service and stop producing kids.

If i were president... I would make everyone pass the ACTs. Hell, if you can't pass it and a high schooler can..we don't need you in this damn country eating up our economy. Also.. I would go against my Christian beliefs and order every female under the age of 20 (including newborns) to have the MFing tubes tied! Start limiting the number of stupid people reproducing. If you have not notice America is by far wayyyyyy behind in EVERYTHING including smarts. I know it all sounds horrible..but really if we did as Colbert says and considered America one big open window...shooting those who trust pass.. we'd have a hell of a lot better country & way more scholarship and grant opportunities for the AMERICAN PEOPLE.

But hey, I'm entitled to my opinion right? It's not like I am even close to be smart enough to do anything about it.. but I can kick and scream as much as I'd like. My faith in mankind is diminishing but by the time it gets bad enough I'll be shacked up in some house in the mountains with AK47s strapped onto my back dropping grenades on you people trying to barge into my home to enforce one world order. Then the whole world will go to hell.

See that A.D.D. kick in? A brief outline of this blog : Time, Man, Women, One World Order, Rambling.

Ha. Take notes, I'm sure I will entertain you daily. Multiple times daily.

I live in America, I am American.
(and a member of the NRA since I was 10. How ya like those odds?)

Mwah. Pirogies are terribly cold now.

Introduction & Final Farewell

A brilliant mind recently reminded me that my eccentric thoughts should be documented. I decided to write and introduction and closing simply because I'm starting to write once again..and I feel that an introduction to the new me should be made. The final farewell is exactly that..if I die or give up on jotting the madness in my mind down... you will know exactly what I would want my goodbye to be. So, enjoy the "closed chapters" of my life as well as the attention deficit disorder I carry as a burden on my back daily. You will soon realise that it is merely impossible for me to stay on one thing at a time. I am meant to move, a busy-body if you will.

INTRODUCTION
What a better way to describe this than a song. Music has always been the theme of my life. It narrates my thoughts, emotions and circumstances on a daily basis.

"What I've Done"
(L.P.)
In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty

For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done

What I have become is a product of my environment. I have manipulated myself into nothing but what I have always been..now, have I always been myself? No. I learned my lesson. Now..like it or not you will get the stubborn, obnoxious, empathetic, outgoing, selfless Sarah that you deserve. I will no longer hold my breath. I will continue to bend over backwards for fools, I will continue putting my faith in those who never succeed to meet my standards of a good human being & I will continue to give those who don't deserve it..the benefit of the doubt.

I was put on this great earth by the Lord himself. I was put here to take care of those who need it & love those who want it. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, the biggest one has finally deleted itself from my memory and I have forgiven myself for wasting such valuable time on such invaluable people.

My life now is what I have made it.
My life now is beautiful.
My life now is happy.
My life now is me.
My life is now.

My Farewell
I always tell people, "if i peace out early.. I had fun, I've loved my life".
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Friends & Family Forever

Death Before Dishonor